We've got it good, even on the bad days.

Well,
I"ve been unemployed now for about 8 months. This has definitely been one of the more difficult times in my life. I have a feeling its only going to get worse, before it gets better. Lately I've really been thinking about all of the things I used to be really passionate about. Wondering where they went, why they slipped away.

This started happening recently, when I pulled my trombone out of the garage to try to sell for some extra $$. I hadn't touched an instrument in ten years or so. I used to love playing music more than anything. I loved listening to it. Loved being around it. I played several different instruments. My favorite was the bass guitar, but I also played some piano, guitar, drums and was even known to rock the spoons on occasion.

I think I lost my passion for playing music because I realized that it is very difficult to be successful in music. I saw the path I was on leading to being a Jr. High band director, and that's not where I wanted to go. In general the people in the music department and I did not get along. Marching Band, Orchestra, and Symphony are surprisingly structured. Full of group leaders, section leaders, first chairs, top players, etc. It seemed to me, that the people in those positions had quite a large ego for future band directors, and that really rubbed me the wrong way. I"m sure that many of them are currently employed. I, currently, am not.

As I started out in the profession of Architecture my wife became a Christian, I rededicated my life to Jesus, and we started attending church. It wasn't long before I realized the worthlessness of what I was working on. Not only Architecturally, but eternally. The majority of the most incredible buildings in the world have very little to offer the to kingdom of God. Although they are incredible to look at, they are a testament to man, and have been that way in large part since the beginning of recorded history. Ref. the tower of Babel. : ) Getting laid off and watching the bottom fall out of the architecture market helped speed my withdraw from that field, to say the least.

For a while I was really giving alot of thought to adapting some ideas from school, about highly customizable and portable buildings. Trying to take those and develop them in a way that would allow for a sort of "Habitat for Humanity" for areas in need. Mostly third world countries, but also disaster areas. When I started to think about what these people really needed, It didn't seem to me that my "well designed school portable" was something that would really minister to those people. And I didn't really feel like that was an area that I was meant for.

So, that brings me to my current career position, or lack there of. Unemployed, mildly to moderately depressed. Slightly irritated, though that is not too unusual. : ) Trying to figure out what to do next. For the first time in a long time trying to do something that the Lord would like for me to do. Looking for a way to craft something that can reach people in a way that makes them take a look at who they are, and what they stand for, and why.

I've been seriously considering trying to start doing video production for christian organizations, christian bands and churches. I think I am definitely more of a creative individual, and it seems to me like this is a place where I fit in, and can help things run in the church. I still really have a lot to learn in this area but I think it can work. Its always hard to know what to do though. Always kind of uneasy. I'm hoping to go back to school in January to get my M.F.A. in film, video and digital media. I'm really hoping that it is what the lord has planned, and that my odd sense of humor doesn't get in the way too much.

I don't really care about money too much. Seriously. As long as the bills are getting paid, and we are eating, and I can maybe grab a latte with two brown sugars from starbucks every once in a while, I am happy. I am pretty sure my wife feels the same way. I think that in America we really just have too much. We have so much we don't know what to do with it, so we just toss most of it in the dump. The other day I saw a video about a lady in the middle east somewhere that picks up cow patties and horse crap, sets them out to dry, and then sells them to people to use to heat their homes. So yes, we have a lot. I am thankful for it, every single day.